July 10th, 2009
Advice for Stephen Harper
The 2009 G8 summit has wrapped up in Italy and, as usual, Canada was there. God knows why. Not that I don’t think this is an excellent country, indeed, it’s the best place in the world to live, but one of the world’s most powerful countries? Who are we kidding? Anyway, one of the most-looked-forward-to moments of every G8 summit, other than the final statement announcing no agreement on anything, is the leader’s photograph where they all stand shoulder to shoulder and pretend to like each other. However, once again, for the second year in a row, Canada’s Prime Minister Stephen Harper was missing when they tried to round the leaders up. You might ask, “What’s that all about?” Well, I believe Stephen Harper has an enlarged prostate. Isn’t it the first sign? Whenever people are looking for you, you’re in the toilet. Where else would he be; doing a secret deal with Russia to deport all of Canada’s gays and lesbians to the Gulag in return for letting the Russians take Nortel off our hands? No, go for the prostate problem. Isn’t it obvious, when they took the G8 leaders’ photo, Stephen was in the loo having a pee. Now, an enlarged prostate can also effect your sex life, although, putting the words “sex life” and “Stephen Harper” together in the same sentence is not technically possible. Honestly? I think both the Harper kids were from virgin births. I suspect that an angel came to Stephen and Laureen’s bedside one night and said, “Steve? Let me show you how it’s done.” So, my message to Stephen Harper; you’re a man over 40. Get your prostate checked once a year and maybe we can start seeing you in those highly-sought-after G8 group shots.
Which reminds me that Double Exposure has all that sort of thing covered in this week’s comedy podcast which you can find at; http://doublexposureradio.com/podcast.html.
Besides Stephen Harper at the G8, there also that tricky little matter of Harper pocketing a communion wafer at the LeBlanc funeral. Sam Spade goes on the case we call “The Missing Wafer Caper”. You’ll also hear our own version of “A Prairie Home Companion” with Garrison introducing a new singing group made up of Bill Clinton, Marc Sanford and Eliot Spitzer who call themselves “The Horny Bottom Boys” singing their big hit “I am a Man in Constant Trouble”. You’ll hear Barack Obama talking to Dmitry Medvedev of Russia about the nuclear stockpiles. That and a new feature of our podcast each week, the start of 65 episodes of “Smoking Loins of Desire”; a soap opera about wieners. All this week on Double Exposure Radio where you can now order T-shirts, hats, mugs, and other handy items, all emblazoned with the flashy “Double Exposure Radio” logo. Easy to order. Just go here;
http://doublexposureradio.com/shop.html
Let the world see you know how to LOL. Oh, and by the way, we’ve looked at that footage over and over where Stephen Harper, allegedly, pockets the communion wafer and have come to the final conclusion that he was simply saving it for the dip at the post-funeral party.