The Double Exposure Radio Blog

It’s been twelve years, almost to the week, since we went into Studio 25 on CBC Vancouver’s T Floor to record our final Double Exposure program for CBC Radio. Sadly, that historic little studio, well, historic because we used it exclusively for ten and a half years, is gone. Actually, they may also have done audio mix-downs of documentaries in there, things like “How Balls Work” and “Vivaldi; Did He Ever Stay at A Four Seasons Hotel?” Award-winning stuff!

Studio 25 was directly across the hall from Vicki Gabereau’s studio and thirty feet down the hall from Jurgen Gothe’s Disc Drive studio. There was a lot of high-priced talent continually bumping into each other in that hallway for many years. But those wishing to make the pilgrimage to CBC Vancouver to touch the microphones and switches that sent Double Exposure out over the airwaves will be heartbroken to learn that Studio 25 was a victim of the massive renovations that have been taking place over the last two or three years. Our old studio is now a “Weeping Room”, a place with comfy couches where employees can go and sob after being handed their pink slips. It’s been so busy lately that people are now being asked to bring their own Kleenex.

In the years since we last recorded our final CBC radio show, many shocking developments have happened in the world; George Bush became a president, Bob Rae became a capitalist, Michael Jackson became a white man…okay, maybe ‘man’ is stretching it a bit.

So, now what happens as Double Exposure Radio goes to the World Wide Web? As that great philosopher Buzz Lightyear once said, “To infinity and beyond!” Would it shock me to know, for example, that Osama bin Laden could download it onto his iPod? Not at all! However, I imagine he has different playlists on his iPod than I do. He probably has one called “Intifada Bluegrass” and another called “Urban Infidel Hits”, and I’ll bet you dollars to Donairs that he has downloaded every episode of “Little Mosque on the Prairie”.  Who could resist such giddy hilarity? So, now he can download Double Exposure Radio and when he registers, we’ll get his email address and then be forced to turn him over to the authorities in Pakistan. Oh, wait! Osama is the authority in Pakistan.

I don’t know if you’ve heard this, you may be too wrapped up following hockey play-offs and Scottish virgin make-overs, but these are tough economic times. This recession, or as I call it, The Age of Eee!NoCents, has left no one untouched. And so, due to an epidemic of belt tightening in the newspaper business in this country, last month, I was relieved of my duties as a columnist for 24 Hours in Vancouver. I have to say, it was quite a high pressure job. My number one responsibility was to write something, as often as possible, that was so hilarious that coffee would shoot out an unsuspecting commuter’s nose. The interesting thing is that what most people will say at times like this is that it’s such a relief to read a humour column, because the rest of the news is so depressing. So, I was a little bummed when I got the phone call, but not surprised, because when accountants start going through budgets looking for things that are dispensable, well, what chance does a goofball have?

BEAN COUNTER: Who is this Linda Cullen? Is she a pundit? Does she do in-depth political analysis using her many top secret insider contacts?

EDITOR: No, she writes about her cats, and armpit farts and makes people laugh.

BEAN COUNTER: Laugh?? No no no, we can’t have that. Not in these tough economic times. This is a newspaper for crying out loud. We’re not in the business of making people feel good!

Of course, historically it’s always been this way. Hundreds of years ago, kings in England had court jesters to keep them amused. But if suddenly coin of the realm became a little tight, well, the guy telling the joke about the king having to pay for all his ex-wives powdered wigs would be the first to be cut. And when I say cut, I mean that literally. He’d have his funny bone removed in a really slow and painful way, and then he’d be mounted on the castle’s front gate post in a fast and even more painful way. So, I’m thankful that all I got was an unpleasant phone call. And I’m also thankful that there are now blogs to fill that laughter gap. And so begins my weekly blog, where I pledge to you, that I will, with every inch of my being, try as often as possible, to make coffee shoot out your nose.